Rising Sun-CH2A

Previous – RS2A – Next

RED SAILS IN THE SUNSET
•••

I was up at the crack of dawn and on deck when we cast off our mooring lines and headed back out to sea. I saw the name of the destroyer as it took up a position in the lead as escort vessel-USS Chester. I was more interested in the view of the island than I was of the ships in the harbor. In the back of our minds we knew that here was the mightiest navy in the world and no power on earth could ever do it harm. We believed it, as everyone back home in America did. Foremost in our thoughts was the anger at being denied shore leave. Breakfast was delayed that morning for there were no volunteers for KP. Why, we wondered, couldn’t they have let us go ashore? There wasn’t a war going on!

The two troop ships took up positions side by side with the destroyer sailing between and slightly in front of us. After dinner that first night out of Honolulu, we were given orders that called for a complete blackout each night. We were also given permission to sleep on deck. It rained a little during the night but I didn’t mind. It was cool and the moon on the water was beautiful.

The next day, to break the monotony, I let my friends shave my head. We had fun and I took much razzing but I didn’t mind. When we didn’t have work details, we spent our time gambling and playing cards while some wrestled and frolicked on deck. One day while on work detail I found an old cot. I bragged about how wonderful it would be to sleep on deck with a cot. But that night when I set it up and stretched out it collapsed with a bang on the hard steel deck, to everyone’s laughter. I discovered the cot was beyond repair and pitched it in the rubbish. I ended up sleeping in the hold with the rest of the men. My bragging had cost me some teasing for a long time to come. Another night after supper Sergeant Sayer and I went to the officers’ social hall to play music for a colonel’s, birthday party. The sergeant pounded away at the piano while I played the accordion. I became disgusted when I saw the luxury the officers enjoyed compared to the life we enlisted men had to lead in the hellhole where we slept.

We crossed the International Date Line and dropped south across the Equator and paid our dues to Neptune, a shipmate with a mop for a hairdo and a toilet plunger for a scepter. The nights were complete blackouts with not even cigarette smoking permitted above deck. It was miserable below deck. The heat and smell in the holds were dreadful. We slept on deck whenever possible. But almost without fail, it rained and we had to grab our bedding and rush below.

The mornings were usually beautiful and the days balmy, and the ocean a magnificent purplish blue. We never tired of watching flying fish break the surface and shoot across our bow. We marveled how far some could fly, floating only inches above the surface of the water, only to disappear beyond the crest of a breaking wave. We also wondered what monstrous fish might be chasing them to send them flipping across the water as they did. A song I was requested to play on my accordion every day was “Red Sails in the Sunset.” Sometimes Jake the trumpeter accompanied me and half a dozen men kept the beat on tin cans and boxes.

Early the morning of October 19, we sighted a verdant, high volcanic island. Word came down the line that it was Guam, one of America’s eastern naval bases. It was raining and there was a rainbow in the sky. The officers and non-coms were allowed shore leave but the rest of us were not. At six-thirty that evening, while the enlisted men grumbled, we pulled away from the island and sailed westward.

The rest of the trip to the Philippines was uneventful, except now below the Equator dreamy days and balmy evenings were interspersed with rain squalls, crashing thunder and a sky filled with flashes of lightning. It was especially awesome to come on deck at night, into pitch blackness, and suddenly see both sky and sea light up from one horizon to the other in a single flash.

We continued to spend much time watching flying fish jump in front of the bow, and now in the warmer tropical waters of the South Pacific came another marvel-an ocean that glowed, like a sky that’s lighted with billions of fireflies. At first, the phenomena appeared to be reflections from the stars as we cut a course through the water, but we soon learned that on moonlit nights the plankton-rich seas of the South Pacific glow with phosphorus. They were like diamonds you wanted to reach out and grab.

Four days after leaving Guam, we sighted the Philippine Islands and by evening, we were sailing through the San Bernardine Strait, the narrow channel that separates Luzon in the north from the twin islands of Samar and Leyte in the south. ”We all crowded the rails, and there was quite a bit of excitement,” I wrote in my diary. ”We are now heading into the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. The ocean is just like a lake with hardly a ripple on the water.”

Once through the channel, we turned north and entered the Visayan Sea. I slept on deck and was up at 4:30 and began writing in my diary: “Awoke during the night to see islands on both sides of the ship, and this morning            there are islands in every direction. On the starboard side, there is a mountainous island that resembles a volcano. The peak is shrouded in clouds and it’s actually hard to tell what it is. All the islands are quite close and we can see vegetation. The water is calm although there is a fresh breeze blowing. All the boys are on deck and we are getting quite a kick out of the flying fish. Coconuts and strange sea kelp float by. At 9:20 a.m. two U.S. Army pursuit planes dove at us, over and over, giving us a show. It was quite thrilling.”

In a few weeks seeing planes dive at us would no longer be a thrill. It would turn to terror.

We sailed into beautiful Manila Bay, where the rock of Corregidor, like a lone sentinel, guarded the entrance as it had done diligently for the Spanish for 400 years before the Americans came. At last, we were in Manila, the end of our journey. Tasker H. Bliss and Williard A. Holbrook ended their voyage at the docks at Cavite on October 23. To mark our arrival, a rainbow above the city was there to greet us. We tied up to the dock and excitedly disembarked with all our gear to a wonderful reception. There was a strong sense of patriotism in the air. I felt I now knew that proud feeling the Yanks had experienced when they landed in Europe during the First World War. A band played the Philippine and American national anthems while Filipino stevedores sold bottles of cokes for a quarter and packs of cigarettes for a dime. We boarded Army trucks and through cheering crowds drove to Fort McKinley. Here we were assigned to our new units.

Previous – RS2A – Next

Rising Sun-CH1

Previous – RS01 – Next

Since 1936, American military officers had been serving in the Philippines, organizing and training Filipino troops. When the threat of war in the Pacific increased, the Philippine Army was ordered into the regular service of the U.S. Army. Finally, in July, 1941, American enlisted troops were sent to the Philippines to further assist with the training of Filipinos and to prepare for the defense of the islands. Mario Machi was among those sent to the Philippines … Harold Stephens

GOODBYE FRISCO, HELLO SOUTH PACIFIC
•••••

At 2:30 p.m., we boarded Tasker H. Bliss, formerly President Cleveland, a grand old luxury liner that had seen better and happier days. Gone were its luster and polish; it was now repainted and converted into a troop transport that carried 5,000 officers and men, crammed into tight quarters with pipe bunk beds stacked eight high. Our quarters were aft about three flights down in a converted freight hold. Sailing with us was Williard A. Holbrook, formerly President Taft, another converted liner bearing the same dismal grey color. A band played “Anchors Away” and a large crowd gathered on the dock shouting and waving to wish well and to send us on our way. Some men threw their garrison caps to the pretty girls on shore. We left at 5:30 that afternoon and the two ships sailed together through the Golden Gate and embarked for Hawaii, our first stop en route to the Philippines.

An hour after we left the Golden Gate we encountered rough seas and a strong wind out of the northwest. Soon most of the men were heaving over the railing. I did not feel so good myself but I was fortunate that I didn’t have to heave like the others.

Seeing the others did remind me of my first voyage on the open sea. It had been aboard a drag boat out of San Francisco for Shelter Cove along the northern California coast. Due to bad weather, what would normally have been a seventeen-hour voyage, took us twenty-four. Before leaving the dock in San Francisco, we had each eaten a bowl of the captain’s salmon soup, and although I had followed a friend’s suggestion and nibbled on soda crackers and chewed a lemon, I became deathly seasick before we passed through the Golden Gate. The sickness remained with me throughout the trip, and it wasn’t until

I had been ashore for some time that I felt normal again. To this day, I can taste the salmon soup that nauseated me then.

Now, as I watched my sick comrades aboard the Bliss, I remembered how weak and wobbly I had been as I climbed up the ladder and stood on the pier at Shelter Cove that beautiful day. I can still recall the exact date, May 22, 1930. The boat that brought us was owned by the San Francisco International Fish Company, a company my father, Petro Machi, helped start back in 1908. He was still a stockholder then in the company.

Although I was only sixteen at the time, I was deeply impressed with Shelter Cove. As I studied the rugged coastline and the cove itself, I marveled at the spectacular scenery. I even thought how fine it would be to have a seaside resort there one day.

The trip to Honolulu took five days. Every day I played my accordion, usually on deck beneath the shade of a lifeboat, and often with a trumpet player, I met on board. Some days we had work assignments, chipping paint and scrubbing the decks. We saw flying fish and had our first blackout, which lasted twenty minutes. The weather was balmy and so hot in the holds we were forced to sleep without blankets or clothes.

It was October 9th, my birthday, that Tasker H. Bliss rounded the southeastern tip of Oahu in the Hawaiian Islands and Diamond Head came into view. Soldiers crowded the railing and joked about seeing coconuts, pineapples and hula girls. In the distance five or six planes circled in the sky. We entered a narrow channel that opened up into a wide port as big as a lake. All about we could see powerful battle wagons, destroyers and their escorts and a couple of carriers either at anchor and or else moored along the docks. The sailors aboard who had been here before called the place Pearl Harbor. “A good liberty port,” they told us. Some asked if the name comes because there are pearls in the harbor. With excitement, we talked about our shore leave. We were assured of leave and each man had dressed in his cleanest suntan outfit, ready to rush down the gangplank the moment we docked.

As we came alongside the dock, a band started playing and we could see hula girls dancing on the pier. We were excited beyond words. Our first port-of-call. But when a destroyer came and tied up alongside us, I sensed something was wrong. And sure enough, I was right, for as we lined the deck, waiting for the gangplank to be lowered, a voice came over the loudspeaker. It was the commanding officer. He announced that no one was to leave the ship. Our sailing time had been set for 5:00 the following morning. The men were terribly disappointed. They voiced their disapproval by grumbling and making nasty remarks. The band stopped playing, the hula girls disappeared and a cordon of M.P.s now lined the dock. The order was meant to be enforced. This was as close as I ever came to the Hawaiian Islands.

Previous – RS01 – Next

Rising Sun-Contents

Rising Sun – Content Links

Music: Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton

Rising Sun – Author’s Introduction

Music: Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton

THE CALL TO ARMS

“Never in American history was an event more anticipated yet more of a surprise than the attack on Pearl Harbor,”…. Time Magazine.

Against my father’s advice, I dropped out of college and enlisted in the Army of the United States of America on February 17, 1941 at Letterman General Hospital in San Francisco. Like most everyone in America in early 1941, I thought war in the Pacific was imminent and I believed it would be best for me to enlist early and get myself into something I liked. I had three years of college behind me, at San Francisco State, with a major in physical education. I had studied anatomy, biology, and some medicine and decided the medical corps might be the answer.

Unfortunately, I received very little training and in September of the same year, I asked for a transfer to the infantry. During this time, I met men with whom I would serve in Manila and then later on Bataan. I got my request, and never was a transfer so immediate, and for good reason. No sooner had I joined my new outfit than we received orders to move out. We were going to the Philippine Islands across the Pacific.

On September 26, we transferred from Letterman to Fort McDowell and a week later on October 4 we sailed for the islands. During this week, I truly enjoyed my last look at San Francisco, my hometown. In the evenings with a couple buddies, I would walk up to the summit above the fort where beneath a full moon I could look out over the town, the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz, and to as far away as other cities on the bay. The weather much of that week was warm and clear and lovely. I made a dollar on a bet when Joe Louis floored Nova.

One-day two friends and I got passes to the city. We enjoyed abalone sandwiches on Fisherman’s Wharf, a banana split in North Beach and then had dinner with my family. My whole family had not been together like this for some months; it would be even longer before we were together again. That night on the way back to Fort McDowell my friends and I made wishes and for good luck each of us tossed pennies into the bay. I spoke my wish aloud and then later in the barracks I faithfully recorded it in my diary. I hoped that we would all have experiences of value in the islands and would return to the U.S.A. Two months later when we were thrown into a world we had not thought humanly possible, those wishes would seem naive and far away.

Rising Sun – Introduction

Music: Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton

Background of the book

The original title of this book was “The Emperor’s Hostages” written by the same author. However, another writer, Harold Stephens, who also was a Second World War veteran in the Pacific Stage got a copy of it, shared the same feeling and enthusiasm and eventually encouraged him to rewrite it with its new title, “Under the Rising Sun”. Here is Stephen’s introductory comment:

Introduction of Harold Stephens

Harold Mendes is a businessman, born and raised in northern California, and he knows just about everyone and anyone who lives in Humboldt County. If he doesn’t know them personally, he knows all about them. It wasn’t long after I got to know him that he told me about Mario Machi. “You’ve got to meet him. He’s a writer, like yourself,” he said. “He was a prisoner-of-war, you know.” Then he added, “He lives in Shelter Cove, has a marina there.”

I usually don’t fancy meeting writers “like myself’ and probably would have declined his offer had I not been anxious to visit Shelter Cove. I was new to redwood country and had heard about the merits of this beautiful hidden cove tucked away on the Pacific Coast.

We made the 24-mile drive one Sunday afternoon and found Mario talking to a couple of boat owners in front of his marina overlooking the cove. A dozen boats were at anchor, waiting to be pulled ashore; others were entering the harbor.

Mario greeted us warmly and we shook hands. He was soft spoken and easy mannered. He was past 70 then, a bit stocky, suntanned and obviously very fit for his age. His hair was white and he had a neatly trimmed moustache. He sported a well-worn captain’s hat with an anchor emblem at the peak. In a conversation that was all too brief (more pleasure boats with their salmon catches were coming in), he mentioned something about serving in the Philippines and that he had a great admiration for the Filipinos, but he spoke mostly about the cove and the fishing season not being what it used to be.

Other bits of information about Mario had come from Harold Mendes on our drive down to the cove. It seems that after Mario was discharged from the army, he completed college and then taught school for twenty-two years at an elementary and junior high school in Miranda, a small town in northern California. Later I met another teacher, Rip Kirby, who had taught school in Miranda the same time as Mario did. “Mario was the hardest working man I had ever met,” Rip said when I asked him about Mario. “He drove a school bus in the morning, taught school all day and then in the evening ran the Grotto Restaurant in Redway. He did the cooking as well. He’s a man that just can’t be idle.”

Mario had acquired some land in Shelter Cove and when he had the capital, he developed it. Mario’s Marina is one of the biggest and most prosperous enterprises in Shelter Cove today.

As I was leaving Shelter Cove that first time, Mario thanked me for stopping by, and as I was getting into the car, he handed me a book, a small book less than a hundred pages, titled The Emperor’s Hostages. His name appeared below the title. “It’s one of my last copies,” he said. “You might want to read it.”

I began reading the book the very next day. Once I started, I couldn’t do another thing until I finished it. As I read I kept picturing Mario, standing at the Marina in Shelter Cove, a proud successful man, and then I saw the same man, almost fifty years before, being kicked and savagely beaten, forced to march through malaria infested jungles for nearly sixty miles with neither food nor water to drink. And I could see marching side by side with him other prisoners, men too weak to continue, dropping by the roadside, only to be bayoneted for failing to keep up. Somehow, Mario managed to survive the brutality, the hunger, the thirst, the disease, and the dreadful feeling that he had been abandoned. Some 10,000 men died on that march, an average of 178 men for every mile they tread. But Mario Machi lived.

I wanted desperately to talk to Mario again; there was so much to ask him. I couldn’t help wondering about the many people who had read The Emperor’s Hostages, his students, the fishermen who used the marina, even his friends, how many of them knew anything about Mario the prisoner-of-war, a soldier who had survived the notorious Bataan Death March? How can one equate Mario the soldier with Mario the devoted husband and father, the schoolteacher, the man who runs the marina in Shelter Cove?

I can’t remember but I may have seen Mario a half dozen times after that, at the bank in Garberville, and at the Cove when I took friends down to visit. Each time I saw him I thought about the war in the Pacific. Always in the back of my mind was the hope that one day I might be able to sit down with him and ask about those days of long ago. But I didn’t. The days passed, the months and the years.

Then, on May 6, 1992, an event took place that left an impression so deep I won’t ever be able to forget it. And it was at that moment that Mario’s book took on a new meaning and came to life for me.

On that day in the heat of the afternoon, with eighty former prisoners-of-war, I entered Malinta Tunnel on the island of Corregidor in the Philippines. As a journalist, I was invited by the Philippine government to attend a ceremony marking the 50th anniversary of the Fall of Corregidor. The Corregidor Foundation was staging a light-and-sound presentation of the siege of Corregidor that they called “The Malinta Experience.”

As we stood there inside the tunnel, not knowing what to expect, the lights dimmed and then went out. We were in total darkness. Suddenly this was not May6, 1992, but May 6, 1942.

From somewhere deep in the tunnel a bomb blast ended our silence. It was followed by another, and another. Shock after shock vibrated through the rock walls! A string of light bulbs suspended from the ceiling came on, dimly, flickering, swinging from side to side. The concrete floor beneath our feet trembled with such violence I reached for something to grab. Soon the sound was deafening, like a weight pressing down, about to crush us. Dust fell from everywhere and the walls seemed as though they might collapsed.

The god-awful feeling, the sensation we encountered, was about as close as we could get to the real thing. In fact, it was so realistic I wanted to break loose from the others and run from the tunnel. Any of us could very easily have done that, run for the light at the far end, but for the soldiers who were defending the rock fifty years ago that would have been impossible. They were doomed to die, or else surrender to the Japanese.

On May 6, 1942, after defending the island fortress for five long months, General Jonathan Wainwright did just that-surrender. He gave the orders to raise a white flag. Corregidor had fallen.

Following the presentation, I stood on Corregidor with a half dozen former prisoners and looked across the water toward Bataan. The peninsula appeared peaceful and serene, like a color photograph in a travel magazine. But the men who stood beside me remembered another Bataan. And it was then, standing there on Corregidor, that I remembered Mario Machi and his book.

Corregidor was only half the story of what had happened to American forces in the Philippines. The other half, what took place on the Peninsula of Bataan, was Mario Machi’s story, and I knew then that I had to talk to him again. The story he told in The Emperor’s Hostages was all too brief. I read through the text again, and came up with hundreds of unanswered questions. I wanted to know more about Manila and the Philippines, and, of course, more about the Japanese. Why did these men, the prisoners as well as the Japanese guards, act the way they did? The story that Mario has to tell the world is history in its purest sense. It’s not history told by a scholar who gets his information from research but by one who had been there, one who had seen and witnessed it first hand, and who had recorded in a diary many events as they were happening. And most miraculously, this leather-bound diary-a written confession that would certainly have meant immediate death to Mario had it fallen into enemy hands-has survived to this day. Mario’s story is a story for this generation and for future generations to read and ponder. Then, perhaps, we might better understand what went wrong with the world back in 1941, and hopefully learn from those mistakes.

I finally met with Mario, now nearing eighty years old, in Shelter Cove, and he was receptive to my suggestion that he republish his memoirs. When we did sit down together to discuss the new book, often with his wife Shirley present, I was surprised to find he could recall with minute accuracy every detail of his war years experiences. And Shirley added greatly to his story. She could relate the more intimate details, about death and suffering, and about loving too, that Mario had revealed to her in their years together.

Sometimes when talking to Mario our conversations took painful twists. Mario’s eyes occasionally filled with tears as he recalled a particularly painful incident. At other times, he corrected my assumptions. I remember saying to him; ”You really had to be a wheeler-dealer to survive.” In a stern voice, he fired back, “I survived because I was not a wheeler-dealer.”

Mario immediately set to work on the revision with the new title Under the Rising Sun. He has expanded the original text and answered many questions that had gone unanswered. Some questions, however, cannot be answered, and it is up the reader to find his own interpretations.

Under the Rising Sun is written for both the generations who remember Bataan and for those who have yet to hear. It is the story of survival under conditions of utmost brutality and depravation, but more importantly, it stands as witness to the values that sustained the author on his terrible journey: his sense of humor, his love for country, family and friends, and finally his commitment to work and to helping those whose circumstances were even worse than his. On his return to the United States in 1945, Mario Machi was awarded the Bronze Star for the work he had done in the camps. Now, a half century later, he has told his story, and we are all made the richer for it. Readers will notice some chapters contain headings in italics. Most of these are historical notes that I prepared and are not necessarily the opinion nor the conclusion of the author. I have added them in hope that they serve to enlighten readers to other events that were happening at the time. It is impossible to set all the facts straight. For example, every history text and every source material lists a different number for prisoners lost during the death march. Some sources believe the figure is well over 10,000. But such figures and facts are not what concerns Mario Machi. He leaves that to the writers of textbooks.

Harold Stephens
California, June 1994

Theo Meier-CH31

Back –   Chapter 31   – Next →

THEO REMEMBERED

Most people got along with Theo providing they did not try to read meaning into his life. One could never ask him why he reacted in a certain way. One could never question him about such matters. Never ask him why he hadn’t gone home again. His self-styled philosophy was simple enough-he came East, found a life for himself and had made the best of it ever since, without regrets. He had succeeded as a painter. Celebrities and people in the know made tracks to his door. His paintings and sketches hang in private collections and art galleries around the world. His murals adorn a hospital, hotels and many government buildings in America and on the Continent. He had what any aspiring artist would like to have. Theo led a life that gave him freedom of choice, and he was one of the few men I knew living in Asia who was completely at ease in his environment. He did not have the guilty compunction that he should be somewhere else, nor did he have that regretful feeling that one day he must return home and dose the ledger, as many foreigners do who live for a long time in distant lands. Theo had not “gone native” as many white men do, nor he did alienate the people where he lived. He never cut himself off from the world. He was very much part of both worlds, East and West.

Theo had enjoyed every minute of his life.

  • Photo caption on page 292 of the book: Prince Sandith seen here at his home in Chiang Mai with two of his collection of Theo Meier’s oil paintings. Prince Sandith and Theo were lasting friends.

Back –   Chapter 31   – Next →

Theo Meier-CH30

Back –   Chapter 30   – Next →

ONE HUNDRED DAYS LATER

When the news of Theo’s death reached me, I was far off sailing my schooner in the South Pacific. From a phone call in Pago Pago in Samoa, I learned he had died in a hospital in Switzerland where he had gone for that one last treatment with the hope that he might beat his illness. I had been aware that Theo was ill and I was expecting the worse, but his death still came as a shock. There are some things in life you prepare for but when they happen you are still not prepared. When I reached Singapore and secured my schooner I took a flight to Bangkok and then boarded a train to Chiang Mai. I wanted to relive the past and fill my mind with all kinds of happy thoughts. I remembered how excited I always was to arrive in Chiang Mai and take the baht bus to Theo’s house. We would have lunch and then while away much of the afternoon, sitting in his grand house, drinking Mekong-and-soda with fresh limes-there had to be plenty of fresh lime-talking about the “good old days” in the islands. Maybe if Theo had started a new painting, he’d talk about that. He would usually excuse himself and take a nap while I would read or doze in the front room surrounded by dangling tiny bells that tinkled with the slightest breeze. Hanging from the eaves and beams were carvings from Bali-winged frogs, garudas, old Chinese coins on silk banners.

And then as evening fell, pretty little servant girls moved about as silently as shadows lighting a myriad of candles. There might even be the sound of a flute coming from the garden somewhere below. Dinner would be a prolonged affair with interesting talk and wonderful food. When I was with Theo at his house in Chiang Mai I could feel the soul of Asia right down to every pore in my body.

But those days were gone.

When I arrived at Theo’s house this time it was one hundred days after his death, and according to the Buddhist custom, everyone had gathered to pay their last respects. I got out of the taxi, entered the gate to his compound and there tacked on the door was a message:

 GONE TO EUROPE. BE BACK SOON. THEO

Many had gathered by the time I arrived, both Europeans and Thais, all friends of his, from diplomats to tuktuk drivers. Standing on top of the stairs leading up to the house was Yattlie, now Theo’s widow. She motioned for me to join her. She saw my anguish and took hold of my hand as she led me past people sitting on chairs and on the floor. Hanging on the walls were Theo’s paintings, many I hadn’t seen before. It was all so strange, like the action on a movie screen had frozen and I was the only moving thing. Faces looked up at me, unsmiling. Yattlie pushed open the door to the studio and stepped aside to let me enter. The room was a private sanctuary. Prince Sandith was there.

I was aware of a double bed in the very center of the room. Gone was Theo’s workbench and easel. More of his paintings hung on the walls. What caught my attention was a framed photograph of Theo, taken many years ago. It was in the middle of the bed, propped up by a worn Balinese sarong rolled into a kind of ball. Yattlie said something. Her English was not good. I didn’t react, and this time when she spoke she pointed to the sarong. “There is Theo,” she repeated. She pulled the sarong partly open revealing a wooden box. Theo’s ashes were inside.

I couldn’t hold back the flood of tears. I wanted to flee from that very room but I couldn’t. I wanted to call out to Theo, but no words came, only more tears. No more pictures to paint, no more tales to tell. All the beauty he had found, all the joy he had known, all were gone. A hand touched me on the shoulder. Prince Sandith stood there. “He is gone,” he whispered, “and with him has gone something from our lives that can never be replaced.”

He was so right.

Back –   Chapter 30   – Next →

Theo Meier-CH29

Back –   Chapter 29   – Next →

THE IMPORTANCE OF INTEGRITY

Patrick Gavin went to see Theo a few days before he died. “I wanted to see him. I knew he didn’t have long. I could see he was in pain but he covered it up. We sat for a few hours on the verandah. It was very sad. I guess Theo could see how I felt and it ended up with him trying to cheer me up. That was Theo.”

After gaining his composure, Patrick continued: “He was working on a painting, chrysanthemums, vivid colors, and I could see the suffering in his eyes. It was all so strange. Here was the beautiful house he had built and he knew he wouldn’t have it for long. It was all I could do to hold back the tears. I looked at him and then at the Ping River beyond. The river would be there, like it always had been, but not Theo. I wanted to cry out, to say something, but no words could come.

Theo stopped painting and turned to me. ‘My eyes are going, I can’t screw anymore, I can’t drink anymore, and I have to watch what I eat. What’s the use?’

“He thought for a moment and then said, ‘But I can still paint.’ That he could-paint. That was the last painting he ever did. I left his house and this time I walked back into town. I wanted to think, and cry to myself. God, I loved that guy. And soon he would be gone.”

Theo firmly believed he could beat his cancer that started in his groin and spread to his lower spine. Yattlie didn’t tell him that the doctors explained that the disease had metastasized. But even she hoped for the best. In one final stand, and with trust in his European doctors, she and Theo flew to Basel. He checked into the hospital. A week later, with Yattlie holding his hand, Theo Meier died.

  • Photo caption on page 286 of the book: Patrick Gavin’s photo of Theo, perhaps the last one of him ever taken.

Back –   Chapter 29   – Next →

Theo Meier-CH28

Back –   Chapter 28   – Next →

FIRST SIGNS OF ILLNESS

Theo Meier wanted everything from life that life could offer. He loved life and found pleasures in most everything, food, drink, making love, painting. When he became ill, he refused to accept it. When he did go to see the Chinese doctor in Chiang Mai, and learned he had cancer, he told no one. When he began to suffer greatly from pain, he still kept it to himself The Chinese doctor gave him herb medicine and assured him he would be all right. But the pain persisted. The doctors then give him pain pills but he refused to take them for he wanted to keep his mind alive.

When Theo knew his end was near he began to feel pangs of remorse, but not as one might imagine. He had led a full live. He had no regrets about that, and if he had to do it all over again, he would have done the same. But as he lay on his cot on the verandah, looking out over then Ping River, he worried about Yattlie. He was over seventy now; he was fifty-six years old when he had taken Yattlie to live with him. She was sixteen, and he was forty years her senior. He had been warned by everyone not to marry her. Some insisted that he could have done better. But he found in Yattlie the very things he admired in a woman. Mainly, she was not pretentious. He saw the good in her that others failed to see. She had stuck with him. She remained at his side when he had no home, no bankroll and as a painter had no prospects of a bright future. Yet, when friends and family criticized her, she stood by her man; she cheered him on when he needed it; she encouraged him when his painting wasn’t going well. She took over the running of the house giving him time to paint.

Theo had spared Yattlie by not telling her that he was ill. “Everyone knew but me,” she said when she learned much later about the state of his health. “When I did ask the doctor he wouldn’t tell me.” Yattlie did not know the extent of his illness until she and Theo went on a trip to Normandy.

Theo had the idea that if he traveled he might forget his pain. He planned a trip in which he would take Yattlie to Normandy on the French coast and retrace his steps that he took in his youth. It had been his first endeavor at adventure when he had boarded a fishing boat en route to Finland. He didn’t last long. When he became violently seasick the fishermen put him off on the coast. That was such a long time ago; it would be different now. It did not have to be an old smelly fishing boat like before. He had a friend who had a motorboat in Normandy and his friend offered to take Theo and Yattlie on a cruise up the coast. Theo liked the idea and accepted.

“Theo knew he was sick but still he wouldn’t tell me,” Yattlie said. “But I felt that something was wrong. He had been acting strangely for a long time. I didn’t know it at the time, he managed to keep it to himself, but he was suffering with cancer, prostate cancer, and the cancer had spread.”

Theo wrote in his journal that he wanted to show Yattlie the place where he had traveled when he was so young. The voyage started off on a happy note. Everyone was excited.

They were hardly out of sight of land when Theo’s friend turned the wheel over to him. Theo was beaming with pride. Then catastrophe struck.

“None of us noticed the rocks ahead,” Yattlie said. They struck the rocks with a terrific jolt throwing Theo to the deck. No damage had been done to the vessel to cause her to sink but Theo was in bad shape. He had lost control of both of his legs. He was in terrible pain and could not stand.

A passing boat came to their aid and they managed to get Theo ashore and to a hospital as quickly as they could. He was then air evacuated back to Switzerland. Yattlie had not known the severity of the cancer. No one did. “It had spread throughout his body,” she said. At the hospital in Switzerland Theo immediately went on cobalt treatment. It helped somewhat but they were uncertain of the final results. The cancer went into remission and they permitted Theo to return to Thailand.

Once back at his Thai house in Chiang Mai, Theo began to spend more time sitting idly on the verandah staring out at the river below. He liked it especially late in the afternoon and early evening when the light began to fade and he could no longer paint. He took the time to think, to reflect upon his past. With the sun hanging low across the river, it was a bewitching hour. It was at this time that the women came down to the water’s edge to bathe, carrying on their hips their young toddlers. They all bathed in silence and it was then that a sense of penetrating sadness would fall upon Theo. He thought about poor Yattlie, What was to become of her?

Theo was seeing pictures across the river but it was his thoughts that prevailed.

He was pleased with what life had brought him, but yet he was not completely satisfied. Perhaps puzzled was the word. He wondered had he not, as a young man, read the writings of Jean-Jacques Rousseau and his “noble savage” idea what might have become of him. Or what might have become of him had he not read Pierre Lori’s The Marriage of Loti nor seen filmmaker Victor van Plessey’s “Island of Demons.” Would he have been content had he stayed in Basel and married Helga? Would he have become a baker like her father, or a business machine salesman and taken over his father’s business. The farmer who has never left the farm cannot ponder another life that he has never experienced. Had he not known the difference might he be contended with Helga and half a dozen kids? Theo’s thoughts wandered. They turned once again to Yattlie.

True, in the beginning of their relationship, Theo did not love Yattlie. Circumstances had simply brought them together. Then when they moved to Chiang Mai and the subject of marriage was brought up, Yattlie did not want to get married. She finally conceded at the insistence of her mother and father. But once they were married and life moved on they both grew attached to one another, and the attachment turned into love. Theo continued looking at the river, but like a blind man it was in thought only. How unfair it had been to Yattlie, that he had forced himself upon her. His taking up with her, really, had been a selfish desire on his part? Yes, Yattlie did have a comfortable life with him. She lived in a grand house, had servants to attend to her every whim, she never hungered, they traveled, and Theo bought her anything she wanted. He had taught her life, he reasoned, but then was it not life as he knew it and not as she would have lived it without him. In doing so, in teaching her his ways, he had sapped her youth. He was old enough to be her father; no, to be her grandfather. He dwelled on the thought. He had deprived her of her youthful womanhood. Could she have been happy living on a farm up country, planting rice along with a young, robust and carefree husband? He remembered how opposed Prince Sandith was to his marrying her. Yet poor Yattlie had never complained. She accepted Theo for what he was.

But now what was to become of Yattlie? Theo’s heart was heavy, a heavy burden in which he suffered the pangs of distress. But then, as luck would have it, he then heard that visiting in Chiang Mai was a Balian from Bali. Maybe he had an answer. After all, Balians were Bali’s cure-alls. Sorcerers of sort, they can do about anything and that includes interpret dreams, cure sickness, go into trances, and solve love matters. Without telling anyone, Theo went to seek the advice of the Balian living in Chiang Mai. The advice he gave to Theo was straight forward. He advised Theo to let Yattlie have a lover.

One thought led to another. The Balian might be right. Yattlie was still young, he reasoned. Why deprive her of her youth? Was he not to blame? Did he not think that this might happen at one time? Running through her veins still flowed the emotions, the spirited blood of a woman of passion. Yes, that was it. She was still young. Yattlie had always been a compassionate person. She was in her mid-thirties and she still had strong desires. He wanted her to be happy and then he asked himself what did it matter if she did take a lover. It might be risky but it depended upon her: could she separate the emotional part of such a relationship from the physical act. If the two of them, Yattlie and her lover, could handle it, it might work out. The idea was a bit distasteful to his thinking but he had to think of Yattlie.

The next time he and Yattlie sat at dinner together, he suggested to her, ever so casually, that she should find a lover. She laughed, said it was silly of him even to mention it, and Theo felt relieved. He was only testing himself. Try as he did he could not bear the thought of Yattlie taking someone else to bed,

But the thought began to linger in Yattlie’s mind. Theo planted it there. If he didn’t mind her taking a lover, why not? After all, she was Asian and her concept of love was not the same as they harbored in Europe and America. All Asian men, married men included, have lovers. Asian women were no different. A few weeks later she mentioned to Theo that a young German she met in town had taken an interest her. A few days later she went to dinner with him. She then invited him to the house

“You can have a boyfriend, a lover,” Theo said when she told him she had found someone, “but please don’t ever leave me alone.”

What had once seemed like a magnanimous idea on Theo’s part now turned to sadness and remorse. The very thought of Yattlie sleeping with another cast a pall, a kind of dark cloud, over him. That Yattlie had actually accepted to take a lover cut deep into his psyche. But now it was too late, The German became her lover. The next man was a young English man and I heard she moved him into the house. How Theo felt, I’m afraid we shall never know.

Among Theo’s papers and letters that I found after his death was a note, hand written that he had scribbled to Yattlie. It read: “Please come to me and hold me for a while before you go to sleep.” I could only imagine the torment and pain that he suffered. Was his past catching up with him?

Back –   Chapter 28   – Next →